How to Write a Disability-Inclusive Wedding Ceremony Script
- Jessica Levey
- 2 days ago
- 4 min read
Want to write a wedding ceremony script that’s more inclusive for disabled wedding guests or couples getting married?
Traditional wedding scripts often include symbolic wording about a couple’s journey, as well as physical instructions for the guests and couple to follow, given by the wedding officiant. Because this language is written for a general audience, it can unintentionally exclude or misrepresent disabled individuals.
The most obvious example might be when a wedding officiant instructs the guests, “Please stand for the couple’s entrance” – without considering that many guests may want or need to stay seated.
Many guests and wedding couples won’t mind (or notice) these traditional phrases and idioms, of course, even if they aren’t perfectly-tailored to them. Things don't have to be perfectly-worded to get the point across. Standard wedding scripts can be very beautiful, and requesting a custom script can add to the cost of your wedding if you’ve hired a professional officiant. (Another great reason to consider asking a friend to officiate!)
However, if you do want to personalize your ceremony experience to emphasize accommodations, or to make them more broadly disability-friendly, it’s very easy to do!
How to make your wedding ceremony script more disability-inclusive
All it really takes to make a wedding script “disability-friendly,” is reading the wedding ceremony script ahead of time with disability in mind. Consider the couple it describes – does it fit them? And consider the friends and relatives who will hear it on the wedding day – does it make everyone feel welcome and included? Then, make any small adjustments as needed.
Below, we’ve put together a list of common phrases in wedding ceremony scripts, along with creative alternatives to consider.
Choose your favorite phrases, then use them to customize one of the sample wedding ceremony scripts in the Wedding Officiant Script Library created by our friends at American Marriage Ministries.
Examples of Disability-Inclusive Wording for Wedding Scripts
At the start of the wedding ceremony
Instead of “Please stand for the bride / groom,” you could say:
“Please turn your attention to the aisle,” or
“Please make yourself comfortable for the couple’s entrance down the aisle”
During the wedding welcome / invocation
Instead of “Walking through life together,” you could say:
“Adventuring through life together,” or
“Traveling side-by-side down the path of life”
During the declaration of intent / wedding vows
Instead of “In sickness and in health,” you could say:
“In hardship and in joy,” or
“Through challenges and triumphs”
During the wedding ring exchange
Instead of “Please place the ring on [name]’s finger and repeat after me,” you could say:
“Please present the ring to [name] as a symbol of your love,” (and the receiving partner places the ring on their own finger) or
“[Ring bearer], please present the rings” (ring bearer assists with ring exchange and putting on the rings)
During the pronouncement of marriage / at the end of the ceremony
Instead of "you may kiss!" you could say:
"You may now celebrate with a show of affection," or
"You may now celebrate!" (followed by the couple's choice of symbolic act, such as holding hands, touching foreheads, a warm embrace, a cheer, etc.)
A note on personalizing a wedding script for disabled and interabled couplesSome couples don't want to put extra focus on their disability on the wedding day. They may choose not to use a wheelchair or walking canes, or avoid centering their neurodivergence or chronic illness. Weddings are about commitment and love, after all - a celebration of spending the next chapter of your life having awesome adventures with someone you adore. We never want to imply that interabled and disabled couples can't or shouldn't use a standard wedding script if they want to. It's kinda like that quote by Brooklyn wedding planner Jove Meyer, from a couple years after SCOTUS passed Marriage Equality for same-sex couples: “...the couple is not getting ‘gay’ married. They are getting married. They’re not having a ‘gay wedding.’ They’re having a wedding. You don’t go to a straight wedding and say, ‘I’m so happy to be at this straight wedding.’” Many interabled and disabled couples will relate to this sentiment. It's not a 'disabled wedding.' It's a wedding. Still... we do love a gay wedding. The same way we love a disability-centered wedding! Over the years, I’ve been excited to see my community’s weddings become more personalized. As a queer woman, it's cool to see queer couples finally able to celebrate their unique journey on the wedding day, with queer readings and love poems, or drag queens and bingo at the reception. As acceptance of disability increases, I hope to see many more weddings that are lovingly and loudly disability-centered too. Weddings that do put focus on a couple's unique disabilities and experiences, however they choose to. Whether it's wedding vows that talk about neurodivergence; lace, silk, and floral wheelchair trains for the aisle; ASL ceremonies with tassel waving instead of clapping; audio guest books and wedding programs in braille; venues with built-in assisted listening systems and quiet rooms; receptions with decor and tables placed at wheelchair or little person level; or bowls of earplugs and fidget toys for every guest on the wedding welcome table. You get the idea! This is the spirit in which this article is offered, because you deserve the wedding you want, whatever your vision. These examples provide a few alternatives for couples who don’t feel connected to traditional wording in weddings because of a disability or chronic illness, and for officiants who want to write a wedding ceremony that offers disability-inclusive accomodations to couples and guests. Take your favorites, and leave the rest!
|
Comments