How to Manage IBS, Crohn’s, & IBD at a Wedding: For Couples, Guests, & Vendors
Let’s talk about handling flare-ups & GI distress caused by chronic illness on the wedding day
What’s inside this post: This article has helpful advice for handling the, uh, shittier symptoms of these common conditions during a wedding celebration, along with other common co-occurring complaints like bloating, med swelling, pain, fever, and anxiety. It’s broken into two parts: “Before the Wedding” and “Day-Of Advice.” This article is for:
Couples getting married
Wedding guests attending a celebration and
Wedding vendors who have to be on-site at the venue for long hours
Nothing makes a wedding day feel quite as stressful as wondering if you’ll need to sprint to the toilet mid-ceremony – except maybe the uncertainty of whether your face will be swollen in photos from prednisone, if severe bloating will keep you from fitting into your wedding dress or suit, or if sudden pain will make you want to cancel your plans completely. Because stress is a known trigger for gut flare ups, and weddings can cause plenty of it, it’s essential to have a plan for IBS, Crohns, IBD, and other GI symptoms at the wedding.
Remember that 10%-15% of Americans have Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS), and nearly 2% have a diagnosed Inflammatory Bowel Disorder (IBD), including Ulcerative Colitis UC, or Crohn’s Disease – you’re not alone! (Stat sources: American College of Gastroenterology and CDC)
Skip to what you need:
Before the Wedding: Planning Ahead
What to Wear – Outfits, undergarments, and accessories for couples, guests, and vendors.
Menus & Venues – Building gut-friendly catering options and scouting restroom layouts.
Eloping, Cancelling, & RSVPing 'No' – Low-stress alternatives, cancellation contract clauses, and choosing to stay home.
Day-Of Advice: Getting Through the Wedding
The IBS / IBD Wedding Emergency Kit – What to pack in your emergency kit and where to keep it.
Before the Wedding: Planning for Couples & Guests with IBS & IBD
As you know, treating these conditions isn’t a one-and-done thing, so it’s essential to use the months leading up to your wedding day to prioritize your health and protect your joy! This goes for members of the couple’s wedding party and close friends or relatives too, who are heavily involved in wedding planning. Here are a few areas to consider.
“I don't think it's a coincidence that I'm having such a bad flare so close [to the wedding].” (u/Curiosities94)
Talk to Your Doctor, Lean on Your Supports, & Keep Stress Low
Meet with your gastroenterologist or specialist a few months before the wedding to ask about additional treatment and medication options to ensure you feel your best during the week of the wedding. Start avoiding trigger foods at least a month before the wedding date, and take any prescription medications diligently as instructed.
If you regularly meet with a therapist, personal coach, spiritual advisor, sponsor, or support group, keep these meetings consistent even as things get busy. Don’t be afraid to ask for extra support when you need it.
“My doctor prescribed me extra medication to get me through the wedding day without pain and we created an entire plan to manage my stuff. Definitely helped and made my day better!” (u/ADinosaurNamedBex)
Many people with IBS, Crohn's, and other forms of IBD say that they didn’t even realize they were stressed until experiencing a flare in symptoms a few days or weeks before the wedding. We suggest a “hope for the best, prepare for the poop” approach: avoid known triggers, limit stress, but prepare for a flare up just in case by talking to your doctor early.
And ask for help from your support circle to keep your stress levels as low as possible. Delegate any work that needs to get done!
“I get sick every time I prepare for any gatherings. I think it is the stress and anxiety of what is to come… I try to remind myself that I am getting all stressed out and sick over something that will be over in a couple of hours. I remind myself this will pass and that I am stressing for no certain reason.” (u/Ok_Form9917)
Schedule 'Buffer Time' Into Your Day & Your Vendor Bookings
Plan “buffer time” into your wedding day schedule from the beginning. Then, book your wedding vendors with this extra time in mind. “Buffer time” can mean:
Including an extra 20-30 minutes in the ceremony schedule in case it starts late
Planning 20-40 minutes of free time between the ceremony and the reception
Asking for a slow-roll out of dinner and drinks so that individual guests can join late if they need to, or
Planning a buffet-style dinner so that you and your guests can come and go as needed
“My ceremony started late because I had to use the bathroom—everyone attending was fine waiting a little bit.” (u/AssistDry5737)
Because wedding vendors sometimes book multiple weddings on the same day and charge by the hour, they can’t always accommodate unplanned delays. If the ceremony starts late because you needed a last minute bathroom break, the wedding officiant may not be able to perform the service at all. If you want to delay dinner service or cocktails or dancing because of unexpected symptoms, you may be charged extra money by the caterer, bartenders, or DJ to hold the service. Timing matters!
To avoid complications, let your vendors know that you or your VIP guests have personal circumstances that might delay events. Ask for more time than you think you’ll need. If they know in advance, they can charge you appropriately and schedule their day. This is a good strategy for vendors too: book a little extra time into your day in case you need to step away, change clothes, or rest.
Wedding Attire, Accessories, & Undergarments That Work for Your Worst Symptoms
You might not have any physical symptoms at all on the day of the wedding – there’s no reason to assume the worst! But if you do – the right clothing, accessories, and undergarments can help you feel much more comfortable and confident.
If you love the idea of traditional formal wear, there are many tailoring and silhouette tricks to stay comfortable. Or skip the formal wear for other fun dress codes – like ‘dressy beach attire,’ ‘cocktail attire,’ or even themed wedding attire. (What’s more comfortable than a billowy Ren Faire gown or tunic?)
Whether you’re getting married, attending as a guest, or working the wedding as a vendor, consider these suggestions to feel comfortable and attractive even when bloated.
Wedding attire, consider:
Empire waist or empire A-line wedding dress; and empire waist wedding guest dresses in breathable fabrics
A-line dress with a full tulle skirt
Consider clothing that can be easily tailored if you lose weight before the wedding
Relaxed-fit suit with pleated, elastic-back pants and a single-breasted blazer (shawl lapels look sharp!) or dinner jacket
Flat-front dress pants with an elastic-back waistband
Dressy slacks with adjustable side tabs or drawstrings
Draping or flowing blouse paired with long necklace or stylish beads
Size up on slacks and trousers, skip the belt and wear suspenders
Choose a fly-front dress shirt, where a piece of fabric covers the buttons to create a clean look
If you have an ostomy pouch: Dresses with strategic ruching or ruffles to minimize or hide the pouch; loose fitting shirts or blouses, a tailored suit jacket
Avoid jumpsuits and one-piece attire
For undergarments, consider:
Lace-top or elastic free underwear
Ultra-low bikini cut or high-waisted underwear (depending on your bloating style)
Flatulence-filtering underwear for gassy symptoms, with charcoal inserts (available in men’s or women’s styles)
Gender-neutral “period underwear” in a boxers-cut or boyshorts style; choose a brand with full protection in the back for minor leaks
Fecal incontinence underwear with full front and back protection, sometimes available in lingerie and ‘dressy’ styles with floral lace patterns and feminine designs
Specialized ostomy underwear with built-in pockets
For accessories, consider:
A specialty slip or undergarment to quickly lift and protect large wedding gowns in the restroom (for example, the famed “Bridal Buddy”)
If you have an ostomy pouch: Wear a soft, supportive, elastic ostomy cover wrap or wide ostomy belt over the pouch to keep in place while dancing and celebrating; some people like to use a vented ostomy bag (or add-on venting device) to cut down on ballooning.
Plan a Gut-Friendly Wedding Menu That Works for You and Your Guests
Food is obviously a major trigger for many people with IBS and IBD, including Crohn’s and Ulcerative Colitis. Luckily, you’re in charge of your wedding menu!
It sounds obvious, but if it’s your wedding, you can choose foods that don’t cause you distress. Don’t worry too much about whether or not these foods are traditional wedding foods. After all, serving a menu that you and your guests can actually eat is one of the most valuable things you can do for your health and happiness on the wedding day. Work with your caterer to build a menu you’ll love, or skip a formal reception for a choose-your-own-adventure dinner at a local restaurant.
Speaking of happy and well-fed wedding guests – you can make your wedding day more accessible to people with IBS and IBD by including “safe” meal options that will work for many people. Ask your caterer to provide several low FOD-map foods, plain unseasoned proteins, steamed or boiled veggies, and sauces or spices kept on the side as a great start toward accessibility.
And go the extra mile by including a dietary restrictions category on your wedding RSVPs!
“...My food reactions and GI bloating are still major issues, so I planned the entire menu around my dietary needs. The only things I couldn't eat were the store bought dinner rolls and Costco wedding cake.” (u/Hom3b0dy)
Wedding Venue Considerations for Couples, Wedding Guests, and Day-of Vendors
As the beloved kid’s book says, “everybody poops.” When choosing a wedding and reception venue, consider asking about private restrooms for yourself, day-of vendors, and guests, in addition to any communal amenities.
Knowing ahead of time that you (and others) have the option to use a single-stall restroom can relieve stress leading up to the wedding day. And the added privacy day-of can make someone’s day immensely better. This is a simple way to make the wedding day more accessible for everyone, including your guests and staff.
Eloping, Cancelling, or RSVPing ‘No’
Too stressed to make it happen? Let's quickly talk about what happens if you decide you can't pull of the big wedding for one reason or another.
First, eloping. There’s something to be said for ditching the stress of wedding planning and just eloping. If this sounds more your style, it’s certainly worth considering. You can always have a big party or wedding reception on a different day, after getting the paperwork out of the way. Have a friend or relative get ordained online to be your wedding officiant for a quick elopement over brunch or in your own backyard – or hop on down to the local courthouse to tie the knot.
Next, cancellations. If you really want a big wedding, but are worried your health might get in the way at the last minute, it's important to read the cancellation clauses in your vendor contracts carefully before you sign. Ask vendors about cancellations due chronic illness and disability, and whether you will be able to reschedule or get a full or partial refund.
If you're a wedding vendor, include a cancellation cause in your contract that helps protects you if you get ill in the days or hours before an event, and consider working with a trusted backup vendor who can fill in as needed.
Last, RSVPing "no." Honestly, this ‘skip the stress’ philosophy goes for wedding guests too. As hard as it might be to decide, sometimes you need to skip a stressful wedding to take care of yourself. If you really can’t make it to a celebration, or doing so will set your health back more than you feel is worthwhile, it’s ok to stay home. Communicate clearly with the couple so that they understand the circumstances, and remember there will be other opportunities to celebrate your loved one’s new marriage.
But before you decide on any of these options – remember that your closest friends and family members love you, support you, and want the best for you. It’s always ok to ask for help and accommodations along the way. In fact, it’s encouraged, especially if it means you can have the wedding you really want.
Day-Of Advice: How to Get Through a Wedding with IBS, Crohn’s, & Other IBDs, for Couples, Guests, & Vendors
Now, let’s talk about the actual wedding day! If you’re getting married, there are real concerns to consider – like what to do if you’re literally at the altar when something goes wrong. And if you’re a wedding guest or day-of wedding vendor, and the couple hasn’t planned for accessibility, there’s a decent chance you won’t have much to eat, a private restroom, or extra time in between events to take care of any needs that come up. Here are some real strategies for wedding day survival – and thrival?? – with these common conditions.
Pack an IBD / IBS Wedding Emergency Kit
One of the most important things you can do is pack a wedding emergency kit that’s designed around your unique symptoms. An “IBD or IBS wedding day kit,” so to speak. Because IBD and IBS treatments are unique, this might include your regular prescription medications or ‘rescue doses’ of prescribed antispasmodics or steroids for emergencies, peppermint oil capsules, and anti-diarrheal and anti-nausea meds. You might also want to pack wipes, a fresh pair of underpants, pads, and a little treat to keep your spirits up – like a plain candy or dark chocolate.
Many wedding couples are already told to pack an emergency kit for the wedding day – filled with protein bars, pain killers, stain removers, and safety pins – so you can simply add these extra items to yours. But if you’re a wedding guest or vendor, this might be a new idea, so take note!
Where you keep your bag during the wedding can be just as important as what you pack in it. If you’re the person getting married, you can give this emergency kit to a trusted friend or wedding attendant to have ready in case you need it. If you’re a wedding guest or wedding vendor, you can keep this kit close to you in a purse, leather folio or men’s clutch, car, or staff area – just make sure it’s easy to reach throughout the celebration. Don’t check your emergency bag in a coat check, it might take too long to retrieve.
Don’t Skip Eating, Just Keep it Safe
You don’t need to starve yourself the day of the celebration to avoid symptoms – and not eating might just make you feel worse. Instead, plan a strategic meal with foods that are generally safe for you to eat and avoid known triggers, including alcohol and caffeine.
If your gastroenterologist or nutritionist has suggested periods of fasting or a strict eating schedule to control symptoms (such as skipping breakfast or dinner), you should definitely follow their advice. Still, make sure to eat healthy foods at various points during the day to keep your energy up. Ask your doctor/s for suggestions on what and when to eat if you’re newly diagnosed, or aren’t sure how to approach eating that day. Then pack snacks!
Conserve Energy While Getting Ready for the Wedding
You might not know this, but couples and wedding vendors often spend hours getting ready before the ceremony even starts. And wedding guests may travel hours to get to a venue – longer if they’re coming from out of town. Depending on your role in the wedding, there might be hair and makeup to sit for, clothes to put on, expensive equipment to pack or set up, food to prep, hours sitting in stop-and-go traffic, and more. All before the actual wedding vows!
It’s essential to conserve your energy while getting ready for the actual event. Here are a few suggestions to consider:
Take care of as many details as possible the day/s before the wedding
Sleep well the night before
Add 5-15 minutes of quiet time into your morning for meditation, reading, gentle movement, or general relaxation
Prioritize what’s most important to you and skip the rest as needed
Split up your responsibilities with another person if possible
Remember that your best is enough
Locate the best bathrooms as soon as you arrive
Show up to the venue early to scout out the best bathrooms for privacy and distance from the celebration. Many venues will have single-stall family restrooms, gender-neutral restrooms, or ADA-accessible stalls that are less cramped and super helpful in an emergency – find them before you need them. If your venue has multiple floors, ask staff members in advance if you're allowed to use restrooms on other floors for added privacy.
If you’re a wedding vendor on-site for the day, take a moment to introduce yourself to the venue staff when you arrive, and ask if there are private staff bathrooms available to you while you work. While this is somewhat uncommon at big corporate venues, you might be pleasantly surprised!
Create a signal with your wedding officiant to pause the ceremony
Remember the first paragraph of this article, and the fear that you might need to sprint to the bathroom mid-ceremony? This is a common anxiety for people getting married with a chronic illness of course, but it’s also a concern for the wedding attendants standing up front, friends and relatives participating in the ceremony, and the wedding officiant themselves.
Thankfully, there is an incredibly simple fix for this fear: Before the wedding, come up with a simple hand gesture or phrase to tell others, “I need to pause.” Inform everyone who will be standing at the altar what the signal is, and tell them to use it if they need to make an emergency trip to the toilet. The signal can be used to alert the wedding officiant or couple that a short break is needed.
When the wedding officiant sees (or uses) the signal, they'll make a short announcement to guests – something like: “At this time, we will pause for just a few minutes for the lovely couple to share a private moment together. Please stay seated, but feel free to talk together and take cute wedding selfies until we return in just a few minutes.”
Then, the couple, wedding officiant, and attendants will be free to leave for a few moments to tend to any needs. Sometimes just knowing there’s an option to step away can reduce stress, and prevent this type of emergency from happening.
“I have IBS (irritable bowel syndrome) and SIBO (small intestinal bacterial overgrowth) and how they act is heavily dependent on my stress-level… My wedding is very soon and I am honestly terrified of this situation and this fear is sucking the joy out of the planning process and potentially the ceremony as well. I hate it, but I‘m just so scared of needing the bathroom while I‘m standing at the altar.” (u/muesli24)
Vendors: Work with a backup person to cover you, and to help meet client expectations
Now, if you’re a wedding vendor working the floor – maybe a wedding photographer, DJ, or bartender – you might be wondering how the heck you step away from your duties without breaking your agreement with the client. You can’t just miss the first kiss photo, first dance, or those important champagne toasts after all! If you’re concerned this might happen, we recommend bringing someone to the event who can cover you in emergencies – a second shooter, a bar back, or a co-DJ – who can take over if you need to step away.
Having someone to assist you looks good to couples, too, as you can pitch and bill yourselves a professional team. Even better, you won’t miss out on great wedding gigs just because your gut isn’t cooperating!
You Don’t Need Perfect Health to Have a Perfect Wedding Day
At the end of the (wedding) day, managing a chronic illness like IBS, Crohn’s, or another type of IBD is all about planning ahead, hoping for the best, and asking for help when you need it. Weddings are all about community, and there’s no reason for your symptoms to make you feel like you can’t join in.
Like we say, ‘hope for the best, plan for the poop’ – and then get on with the party!
Whether you’re up front exchanging wedding vows, a wedding guest celebrating on the dance floor, or a hard-working wedding vendor running the show behind the scenes, your IBS and IBD don’t have to steal the joy of a beautiful celebration.
Choose comfortable attire, set healthy boundaries and buffer time with your schedule, communicate clearly with loved ones and vendors, and keep your emergency kit close at hand – and you can roll into the venue with total confidence.
Wishing you a wonderful celebration!
A quick note & disclaimer: The advice in this article is based on general information and the experiences of people living with IBS, Crohn’s, and other forms of IBD and GI distress. It’s not medical advice, and what works for one person may not work for another. Talk to your doctor or healthcare provider about what’s right for you, especially when it comes to medications, diet, and managing a flare.
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